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Perhaps it’s the recent tragic shooting in Tucson, Arizona of Gabrielle Giffords and our current political climate, but I have been thinking lots about the practice of blame these days. It seems to be everywhere and getting worse. In order to change, we don’t need to debate how we got there, we can just look at its effects, how it showed up, and if we want to allow it to affect our own lives.
So in the spirit of “doing better,” the next time you catch yourself wanting to blame someone or something for your problems, consider this:
Blaming keeps you:
Last week’s blog talked a bit about supporting yourself and your family via revenue streams versus “the traditional job model” that many of us have become so accustomed to. Many of you are eager to learn more about multiple revenue streams and today I’ll give examples and explain how you can make that happen for yourself.
Last week’s blog post regarding friendship and grief certainly seems to have struck a cord with you, my readers. Hence, a Good Grief, Charlie Brown: Part Two seems in order.
It’s clear from the many emails received that a lot of you are experiencing intense challenges. As we are all too well aware, these are unprecedented times. Let me begin by saying that you may feel stuck, feel alone, feel abandoned (you pick the label), but know this: you can overcome any unwanted feelings and overcome any obstacles once you set your mind to it. It may be tough.
It may not be fun, but you can make it happen if you CHOOSE to do so. But you must choose. One of the very ironic things I have learned along the way is we are better able to CHOOSE when we show up for others. “Being there” emotionally and spiritually for someone unconditionally opens up many blessings. And those blessings are not just for the person you are helping, they bless you too!
I have been thinking lots about friendship, grief and support of late. Reading lots about it too. I am struck by how seemingly scared people are to be there for another in their grief. It seems they almost fear they will catch themselves a case of “grief,” like the common cold. How utterly tragic. In my own experience when I show up for someone who is grieving, not only am I there for the other person but I am there for myself. I feel connected with the Divine, my Higher Power. It is a blessing on me. I learn so much.
Nowhere do I see this fear of grief more often these days than in job loss scenarios and divorce. Some people seem to think that if they reach out to another in one of those two scenarios, they will lose their job or their own relationship might suffer. This often manifests in words like “we don’t want to get involved” or “I know nothing about job searching so I could never help you with that.” Ugh. Double ugh.
You’re Never Stuck. …Really.
I know it sure feels like we are stuck sometimes. In fact, here I am with a company called “You’re Never Stuck, Inc.” and I spent the last few years feeling very, very stuck. Geeeeezzzzz, talk about the irony! But here’s the thing, being stuck is all in our minds. It’s not real. I just thought I was stuck. But guess what. I wasn’t stuck and neither are you. It was/ is just a feeling ~ and you have the power to change that.
But wait!!! Where is all this coming from and who the heck am I ???