Assumptions are very dangerous things, especially in our personal lives. Assumptions get people in trouble daily and when combined with misinformation, are frankly downright disrespectful. They manifest as accusations, unkind words and often gossip.
Think I am alone in that belief? Not so much. author don Miguel Ruiz, in his well-regarded best seller puts it this way:
“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”
― Miguel Ruiz,
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth! We invent a whole story that’s only truth for us, but we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions, and we take our story very personally. Then we blame others and react by sending emotional poison with our word. (Emphasis added).
That said, I recognize everyone has a bad day, a bad week and forgiveness is often in order. But perhaps the next time you are tempted to make assumptions, you might want to communicate, ask questions if appropriate, apologize and promise to do better the next time.
ps…This post in no way was inspired by family members near or far. xo
Patty Comeford Adams