I’m officially declaring the 2017 the year of the PERSONAL PURGE. Want to join me? Read on.
Early last summer, while we were in Jackson Hole, I came to the painful realization that certain people I had in my personal life were either ripping me off, not reciprocating, causing trouble in close relationships, not doing their job, treating those I love with disrespect, or gossiping etc etc. Ouch, right?
Some of these are people were people I loved and cared for immensely, entertained in my home, did work for me or ones I mistakenly considered friends. Double ouch.
But as the old saying goes, “Once shame on you. Twice shame on me”. So shame on them and shame on me -but no more!
So with that wisdom, here is some straight talk on what I am purging in 2017:
Personal One-sided Relationships:
If I have shown up for you and you don’t bother to show up for me and I have expressed that concern and you did nothing. Then sorry— our friendship is probably doomed. Friendships mean the world to me. My women friends have saved me over and over again whether it be the loss of my parents, moving, sale of a business or what-not. I take them seriously. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but what I do know is this: I am a fiercely loyal friend, I show up for you. Also, I straight talk with you and expect you to straight talk with me.
If you spend connecting with people by gossiping about them, it’s pretty simple. I am sad for you. And I am purging you.
If you run around to acquaintances/friends/business associates playing the victim, all I can say is this: Everyone knows what you are up to and nobody respects you. I spoke my truth recently to a man who has left his wife in the lurch. His response was to be a victim and blame it all on her. Quite telling, mais oui?
Related to #1, if all you do is take from me and my family (money, our possessions, our time) and don’t give back to the world or others, you are gone. As the Judge that I worked for all through law school used to say, “Patty, you don’t have to be smart to be a criminal”. Enough said.
If you mess with my family, people I love and care about, my authentic friends, you too are gone.
Clothes and More Clothes:
I have purged my closet to its core. Truth be told, much of this was the result of losing 20 pounds (10 0f which are back) when I was so sick this summer but does it ever feel good to get rid of stuff ! Getting rid of stuff is often painful for all of us. In this case it wasn’t because I donated much of it to my dear blogger/friend/social worker extraordinaire Susan Kanoff Andrews and her amazing blog and new and widely popular charity, Uncommon Threads.
But the real magic in all of this is that one I purged the above, wonderful things happened. A new home. New loving friendships. New possibilities. All of this purging is so liberating. I feel so very free and have so much more time for those I love and love me.
Thoughts? I’d love to hear from you!
A big thank you to Jeanne Comeford, Cathy Comeford, my husband, Jessica Adams, Jocelyn Vodnick, Carolyn Brown, Tonia Maloney, Kelly Richardson, Rebecca Bond, bff Patty Hamm (pictured above), book maven Andrea Katz @grtthoughts, and Twitter sweetheart Sharon Antonio. Last but not least, a thank you to my adorable granddaughters and grandsons who give me strength and hope every day. No, I’m not your biological grandma but I sure am blessed to have you in my life and I love you to the moon and back. xoxo.