Valentine’s week is upon us. For many it’s about candy, flowers and gifts but for others it’s a painful time. It doesn’t help that like our other holidays, it’s commercialized to the hilt. A break-up. A death. Divorce. Loneliness. These are the things the advertisers ignore but they are real. As I shared in earlier post here , for many years I was lost in the relationship department. So today, I thought I’d share some thoughts on finding love after 50. And heh, I’ve also introduced several couples who eventually married, so listen up!
Life can change on a dime for the good too: We all know this to be true when bad things happen but we forget this about the good things. Finding love and attracting someone in your life is a lot about not giving up. After a tumultuous break up my sister remarked one day, “I hope you believe in love again someday”. Talk about a wakeup call. It was time for me to embrace the good.
Be Open Minded: I met my husband, a widower, of all places on match.com. He happened to live 3 blocks from me and our paths had never crossed! I went kicking and screaming insisting on-line dating was for “other people” but not me. But for those of us over 50, do we really want to meet someone in a bar? Heck, with online dating I knew more about my husband before our first coffee than many people I had dated for months. Now, you do have to be careful how you put yourself out there (more on that in a future post) but keep in mind that there are a ton of options. There are dating sites related to golf, dogs, books…..the list goes on. Here are a few:
- Bibliophiles can turn to Alikewise;
- Golfers can turn to Dateagolfer;
- Christians can turn to ChristianMingle
- Dog lovers can turn to DateMyPet;
- Dancers can turn to DancePassions;
- Single parents can turn to SingleParentMeet.
Finding love online? The list is endless!
It doesn’t have to be an online dating site: Finding love online doesn’t have to be all about meeting someone who has plugged in their information and a third party decided you “match”. I have women friends who reconnected with old beaus and/or met new people on Linked-In, Facebook, Twitter etc. Social media is in your favor here and it’s not going anywhere!
Ask: I know, yuck. Set ups are preferable but many people don’t want “to get involved” anymore. (Shame on them.) But your friends know you better than anyone. Just say, “Heh, if you ever run across someone that would be a good fit for me, please keep me in mind. Not the dreaded, “Can you set me up someone’ or “Do you know anyone”. If I hadn’t known my friends were looking, I might not have thought of them!
Focus on values: One of the things that worked for me was to focus on values, not age and possessions. To do this, you obviously have to be clear on what’s most important to you. For me it was family & character. I wound up marrying a guy with 6 children and 13 grandchildren who’d been married over 40 years. When we met, he talked more about his kids than himself. That told me a lot. Ask yourself what is most important to you. There’s no right or wrong answer here!
Dear ones, I think you’re utterly fabulous so please don’t give up like I almost did. And if you also found love over 50, how did you do it?